Prior to our wedding, my opportunities to get to know Vajiheh were brief. At the time, her son, Lessan, and I were living in Haifa, Israel, serving at the Bahá’í World Centre. I spent a good amount of time with my soon-to-be father-in-law, Kiumars, when he visited us shortly after we decided to marry, but with my future mother-in-law, Vajiheh, I had only a few video calls and one short meeting in person. I remember feeling a little nervous—people often say you “marry the family,” and there is no shortage of jokes and horror stories about mothers-in-law. But my worries were completely unfounded.
From the very beginning, Vajiheh embraced me wholeheartedly as her daughter-in-law. She made me feel that she was proud of me and genuinely happy that her son had married a white Australian. Her joy, I believe, came from her deep conviction in the oneness of humanity. While many Persian families hope their children will marry within their own culture, she delighted in the fact that both her children had chosen partners from different backgrounds. She was especially proud that Lessan and I met at the Bahá’í World Centre—the spiritual and administrative heart of a Faith she cherished and had visited many times. Even as her memory began to fade, she would recount the story of how we met and married with such pride and happiness, as though discovering it anew each time.
Although she would have loved for her family to live close by, she always understood our reasons for living elsewhere at various times—whether it was our desire to continue serving the Bahá’í Faith or the need to be nearer to my own family. She supported us with a generous and gracious spirit.
By the time I truly had the chance to know her, her memory was already beginning to decline, and so our conversations were sometimes halting or difficult. At times she would say things that were unexpected or confusing, and she found it hard to connect with our children, her grandchildren, though she tried and genuinely loved them. But through it all, I could always feel the purity of her intentions. Her kindness, her pride in her family, and her loving heart were never in doubt.
Although I didn’t know her in her prime, I am deeply grateful for the legacy she leaves—her joyfulness, her sincerity, and her prayerful, devoted heart, as well as her courage and determination. We will carry her stories forward and share them with her grandchildren, whom she loved so dearly, so they may know the beautiful woman who helped shape the family they belong to.